


What I Really, Really Want

by geekalogian



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 22:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3995287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekalogian/pseuds/geekalogian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: When designated driver David accidentally gives his mates a taste of modern music, the night takes an unexpected turn… (Drinking references, short drabble)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Really, Really Want

**Author's Note:**

> this is one of my favorite mini one-shots i've ever written. enjoy!

_“Ye maaaaaaaaaariners alllllllll, as ye pass byyyyyyyyy, come in and drink if you are dryyyyyyyyy. …”_ Killian’s voice was loud and a bit off-key. He stumbled a bit on his way out of the Rabbit Hole, colliding with Robin’s shoulder, who gave a halfhearted swat before staggering a few steps himself.

“Oi–watch it, pirate,” Robin mumbled, bumping back into Killian, and they glared at each other through glassy eyes before both bursting into uproarious laughter.

David rolled his eyes. "Pull it together, you two. Let’s get you both into the truck and back to Granny’s.“  
"What’s your hurry, mate?” Killian draped his arm over David’s shoulders, a grin spreading across his face. "The night is young! This is a celebration, after all. Why not make the most of it?“

Robin bobbed his head in agreement. "I still haven’t tried this ‘hard cider’ concoction Regina told me about–how can I have a proper celebration of our reunion without my lady’s drink of choice?”

David grabbed the front of both men’s collars–well, more like the intersection of Killian’s vest that he had _insisted_ on wearing again for their night of debauchery–and dragged them both into the parking lot. They groaned, but put up little more protest than that.

“The only reason I’m even _here_ for this celebration,” David reminded them, “Is to keep both of you from killing yourselves. Or each other. Or anyone else.”

“But _maaaaate_ ," Killian moaned, "surely there's _some_ way we can continue our evening of merriment?”

David sighed deeply, rubbing his face in his hands and then gazing pleadingly up to the heavens. "Okay, I’ll make you a deal,“ he conceded. "Granny owes me a favor. If you promise to _keep it in the room_ , I’ll bring up something from her liquor cabinet and we can all enjoy the rest of the night somewhere that it’s hard to get into trouble. Where nobody can see–or hear,” he added, shooting a look at Killian, “your nonsense.”

“We have reached an accord!” Killian roared in triumph. Robin cheered as well, and the two of them collapsed into laughter again.

With no small amount of difficulty, David managed to herd the pirate and the outlaw into the truck. Killian was back at his sea shanties, and now even Robin was starting to grow irritated.

“If you’re going to sound like a strangled cat,” Robin drawled, “at _least_ sing something we all know–not all of us spent our lives on a boat.”

“Well that’s hardly my fault,” Killian countered. "I don’t suppose there are a great many woodland nomad shanties out there, and I lack the orchestral accompaniment for something that would please his majesty here,“ he gestured with his hook to David.

"Here,” David raised his voice before the two could descend into another argument. "Mary Margaret left some music in here after her last girl’s night. None of us know it–that should shut everyone up,“ he added hopefully. He grabbed something marked "Party Mix” and shoved it into the tape deck.

As soon as the first notes started playing, David wished he had never mentioned it.

_SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want  
Well, tell me what you want, what you really really want … _

“And that’s enough of _that_ ” he added hastily, reaching for the “stop” button, but both of the men in the back shouted in protest.

“Keep the music on, mate!” Killian urged as they pulled out of the parking lot. "It’s about time we got an advantage in this bloody confusing realm.“

"Agreed,” Robin nodded sagely–or as sagely as he could whilst propped up against Killian’s side. "You have all the memories of a life here, but we–we’re still lost when it comes to what our lady loves desire.“

"You think that the Spice Girls are going to actually _tell you what–_ ” David cut himself off. "You know what? Fine. Nevermind. Just be quiet.“ He turned up the music, rounding the corner onto main street as his two inebriated charges bobbed their heads to the beat.

By the time they got to granny’s, David had suffered through the song four more times at Killian and Robin’s insistence–and they demanded that he "bring the ballads” along with when he led them into Granny’s. When he returned to the room with an armful of assorted liquor bottles, he found the men propped up dramatically against the wall, arms around one another’s shoulders, doing their very best karaoke version of Avril Lavigne.

“ _TEEEEEEELL ME whydya hafta go and make things so complicateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed . . I SEE THE WAY YOU’RE_ –Oh! good, you brought rum!” Killian surged forward to snatch one of the bottles out of David’s arm, and cranked up the volume to the music before collapsing on the bed with a long, satisfied swig.

“That’s the stuff. Hey–no more driving your carriage machine for the night. Care for a taste?” He offered the bottle to David with a wobbly arm.

“I couldn’t possibly–”

“Come on, man! Celebrate with us! With me! Drink!” Robin encouraged, grabbing the bottle of cider David offered.

David looked to Robin, then back to Killian, then back again.

“One drink. Then I stop for the night to keep you two under control.” His voice was firm.

Robin and Killian grinned wickedly.

—————————————————————————–

“I’m surprised David hasn’t called this morning,” Snow remarked to Regina and Emma over their coffee at Granny’s. Henry had agreed to watch Roland and Neal while the ladies retrieved their men from the night’s celebrations.

“I’m not,” Emma said with a snort. "Locking him up in a room with those two troublemakers? We were asking for trouble.“

"Now now,” Regina protested, opening the door to the back rooms for them all to go through. "Robin’s pretty levelheaded. I doubt anything very interesting happened at all–except maybe with your leather-clad booze machine,“ she shot to Emma, who shrugged it off with a smirk.

"We’ll see about that. Hear that music?” Emma gestured down the hall, where they could already hear the faint sounds of a radio. It only got louder as they got closer to the boys’ room.

“Is that… is that my girls’ night out tape?” Snow wondered aloud.

“And some impressive backup vocals,” Emma added. She flung the door open, and all of their jaws dropped.

Numerous bottles littered the floor, as did various articles of clothing. Robin and Killian were both shirtless, while David’s shirt was completely unbuttoned and he had abandoned his jeans for the more comfortable freedom of his boxers. All three were bouncing on the beds, wobbling dangerously close to falling off, using cider bottles as microphones, and shout/singing in voices no longer even trying to be on-key:

“ _IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY–GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENDS …_ ”

Robin was the first to notice the women standing, dumbfounded, in the entryway. " _Darling!_ “ he shouted, a crooked grin on his face. He stumbled off of the bed and toward them, practically pinning her against the wall with the force of his hug and planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek. "We’ve had the most wonnnnnnnderful… . time … . ” and then suddenly she staggered under his weight, and the sound of his loud snoring could be heard echoing in the hall.

They all returned their gaze to the interior of the room. The singing had stopped–apparently they had been running entirely on adrenaline from the night’s activities. Killian and David were now unconscious as well, Killian’s head leaned against David’s chest. David smiled in his sleep and patted Killian’s shoulder protectively.

Emma bit back a laugh, glancing over at Regina. She was glaring daggers at Snow. Snow, for her part, had her eyes shut, and was gently beating her head against the doorframe.

Regina’s icy, irritated voice was the first to cut through the blaring din of the music, which was still playing.

“ _Never. Again._ ”


End file.
